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Topic: Stress vs. Distress Over PD (and Whatever!) (Read 2312 times) |
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Judith
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We magnetize into our lives whatever we hold in our thought. -R.Bach
 
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Stress vs. Distress Over PD (and Whatever!)
« Thread started on: Sep 18th, 2005, 7:50pm » |
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Bill and I have just finished a new addition to the Edge of the Forest site called "Stress vs. Distress Over Parkinson's Disease (or Whatever!)." To go there, just click on this link: http://www.edgeoftheforest.com/stress.htm
We invite you to read it and then respond to some of the conversation starters at the bottom of the page. It will link back to this thread in the message board.
If you're not a member and would like to respond, please click on "register" in the grey bar near the top of this page. All are welcome!
Judith
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| « Last Edit: Sep 18th, 2005, 8:04pm by Judith » |
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Carolyn
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Re: Stress vs. Distress Over PD (and Whatever!)
« Reply #1 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 01:07am » |
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Judith, I just read the new addition. What a great idea to also start this thread.
I may not explain this very well, but I will try.
I have tried to think of my PD as a partner in life. Not a great partner, but a partner none the less.
A partner is someone...something in this case...that is with you though life's ups and downs.
If I think of it as a weight to be carried, I would never be able to do that successfully.
If I was to try to ignore it, I would be duly stressed by the fact that it would not go away.
I have noted that stress causes me much physical/PD distress. My tremor gets very bad, to the point that I fear some mornings and/or evenings that I will not be able to give myself my insulin injection. I have terrible thoughts of ending up in the ER to have a broken needle removed from my thigh...ugh!!
It stresses me to think about having to move to an insulin pen, which is far more costly that what I am doing now, or to a pump, which is also costly. I have to remind myself that stressing over the injections right now isn't doing me much good...LOL...and that imagining the unknown future is friutless and a waste of energy.
My last trip to my neuro, about two weeks ago, my tremor was so bad that the N.P. noted that she could feel the muscles in my arm trembling while she took my blood pressure.
I can't sit still, which is very visible to anyone around me, especially those who have no clue why I sway and move all the time.
I can "hear" that it is time for me to take up some meditative activity to counter the stress, so that I can relax better before my injections, and de-stress myself in public, etc. As soon as I can get resettled in my new environment, I will do that.
Thank goodness I don't have curling toes. I have heard how painful that is. I feel for you Judith, and anyone else who has that problem. One practical solution that many with the problem have done is to cut the toes part out of their shoes. Who cares if there is a hole where the leather of your "tennis shoes" should be. Comfort is more important than what you preceive others may think. I do hear it causes cold toes in the winter though...LOL
How right..."Acting out of practical adaptive thinking about what will help you most, rather than out of anger, embarrassment, and twisting of arrows. The focus is on thinking, not on upset feelings, because the latter tear you up." It WILL tear you up if you LET IT. And, while pitty-parties may seem of value from time to time, they are rather costly of energy and time.
Spend time wisely!! We don't get it back once it is gone!! Yes, I know...easier said that done some days....I've burned more than my share of time.
Part of a song by Clint Black
Spend My Time
Funny thing that time
We're always running out
I'm always losing mine
There's not enough of it about
And though it's always here
It will always come and go
The days become the years
That'll be gone before you know
I won't go quietly into that dark night
There'll be no more burning daylight
I'll be living in
Every moment that I'm in
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| « Last Edit: Sep 19th, 2005, 02:03am by Carolyn » |
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 Carolyn
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If you have knowledge, let other light their candles at it. -- Margaret Fuller
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Judith
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We magnetize into our lives whatever we hold in our thought. -R.Bach
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Re: Stress vs. Distress Over PD (and Whatever!)
« Reply #2 on: Sep 20th, 2005, 3:02pm » |
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Hi Carolyn,
Actually, I thought you did a good job of explaining your take on PD and stress. I like the thought of PD as a companion....certainly not a heldpful one! In other words, it's there and we have to learn to live with it. Sounds like you're doing some pretty adaptive thinking (going with what IS). You're right that thinking of it as a weight or burden would be pretty oppressive....and ignoring it is impossible.
Sorry to hear how difficult it is for you to administer your insulin sometimes. You make a good point about stress making symptoms worse. I like your idea of a "meditative activity." I've had some experience with that and it does really help....although I can never seem to remember to do it when I'm the most stressed.
Dr. Andrew Weil has a good breathing exercise that is quick and effective and can be done in public. You simply try to breathe deeply and make your exhalations twice as long as inhalations. If you inhale for a count of four, make the exhale last through a count of eight. Do this for about 10 breaths. It calms your parasympathetic nervous system. This exercise also helps me to go to sleep sometimes.
As for the toe curls, they have gotten better in about the last month, thanks to June's intense massage of my feet every couple of weeks and stretches I do several times a day. But they will lock up easily if I don't keep after them.
I like the Clint Black song. Thanks for sharing!
Take care,
Judith
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ed
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Re: Stress vs. Distress Over PD (and Whatever!)
« Reply #3 on: Sep 20th, 2005, 10:54pm » |
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Judith,
Hope all is well just a quick comment on toe curling.I have been using an electric massager (Pollinex) with a disc shaped vibrating surface.I massage the toe area where I curl,what a difference,I have actually gone most of the day without toe curling.After a 10 min massage.  Ed
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aussiebron
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Re: Stress vs. Distress Over PD (and Whatever!)
« Reply #4 on: Sep 21st, 2005, 10:07am » |
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Ed
It sounds terrific........
My toes curl so much l am thinking of putting them in rollers (or rags).....
What is approximate cost of massaging machine?
Bron
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Sybrandt
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Re: Stress vs. Distress Over PD (and Whatever!)
« Reply #5 on: Sep 21st, 2005, 10:43pm » |
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Hello everyone,
My name is Sybrandt. This is my first post on this site although I have visited many times. What a great place to visit!!
I was dx in 1996, went on disability in June of 2003. I have some questions about symptoms but will go to that link later.
Today I just wanted to comment about the very helpful link about stress. As I was reading about "it isn't fair" I was reminded how glad I am that life isn't really fair. Boy, if I got everything I deserved...?? Not that I am a reprobate but I certaintly don't do everything right ALL the time either. I do have many things to be grateful for. We too live on the edge of the forest and it is always a wonder.
I look forward to getting to know you all through this forum. Thank you for being here and for welcoming newcomers to your fold.
Sybrandt
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The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.
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skylar
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Re: Stress vs. Distress Over PD (and Whatever!)
« Reply #6 on: Sep 22nd, 2005, 01:03am » |
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welcome skybrandt...
PD -- We do our dance...he plays my body like a fiddle...I must admit that he and I are on intimate terms together, but to me, he will always be the unwelcome guest, the rude guest, the why don't you shut up guest, the unruly guest, the enamored guest, the sneaky guest, the guest who betrays, who lies, brags, robs, and steals, who wants to eat me up, crunch my bones, have my soul for dessert, the one who wants to carve me hollow so he can sleep in the cave that was once my body....
skylar
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denisem
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Re: Stress vs. Distress Over PD (and Whatever!)
« Reply #7 on: Sep 22nd, 2005, 05:36am » |
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to judith (you wonderful sidekick bill) and all:
i have greatly appreciated the stress/distress piece and have printed it out so i can read it when i start fussing about pd and life in general (which seems to be often lately).
i agree with sky that pd is an unwlecome guest. i think what i am learning (and re-learning), is sometimes, instead of seething about the intrusion, it has been more helpful to invite the guest in (as unwelcome as he may be), with the hope of befriending him, knowing that he isn't going to go away anyway.
when i have had the expereince of an unwelcome guest (i.e. a person) and i have openned my heart and mind with the idea that i will make the best of the situation and create an atmosphere of acceptance and hospitality, i generally come away enriched by the experience. in the same way, while i hate that i have pd, when i am open and invite it in (rather than resist it), i know that there are ways that i have grown because of it, and it seems less like an intruder and more like a roommate (albiet very annoying at times).
like sybrandt, there are times that i am glad that life isn't fair and i have a lot to be grateful for inspite of pd (or in some cases, because of it).
i especailly like the part that talks about acceptance. it is a process though, isn't it?
thanks for the thought provoking piece!
denise
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denise
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ed
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Re: Stress vs. Distress Over PD (and Whatever!)
« Reply #8 on: Sep 22nd, 2005, 07:35am » |
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Bron Pollenex is the brand I found it thru google .about us 30.Stay well. Ed
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ed
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Re: Stress vs. Distress Over PD (and Whatever!)
« Reply #9 on: Sep 22nd, 2005, 11:18pm » |
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Judith,
i finally read your and Bill's essay on stress vs disress.first and foremost I admire your courage.Second i feel that anyone that has PD is fighting the biggest battle they ever faced.Obviously a stressfull situation
.and we all react differently to stress.Here thee is no right and wrong only what works in your individual situation.over the years Ive seen many changes in people with Pd that I've been priviledged to know.When you loose a major neurotransmitter the aftermath devistates both physical and mental function.The physical function can be assisted wih exercise medications the mental with support groups ,medications,and most important attitude.In a body that provides constant pain and which you often have little control over.maintaining that positiveattitude is hard to do.i stay relatively positive by fighting this disease by looking for answers.If my toes curl i look for a solution,etc etc etc ThankGod for the internet where you can find info from numerous individuals and thier personnal experiences.i ramble.lastly i would say that there is no separation of stress and distress.One brings on the other and vice versa,and how we handle both is as different as there are individuals with PD.No right no wrong.Stay well and God bless
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Judith
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We magnetize into our lives whatever we hold in our thought. -R.Bach
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Re: Stress vs. Distress Over PD (and Whatever!)
« Reply #10 on: Sep 23rd, 2005, 12:17pm » |
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Hello:
I've been enjoying reading everyone's thoughtful and though-provoking responses.
Bron: Between surgeries, auto accidents, and infections, you have done enough to your poor body. But rollers for your toes!!!!
Sybrandt: Welcome! Looking forward to meeting you and hearing about your forest. You made a good point about fairness. Talk about just desserts!
Skylar and Denise: Skylar, you wrote a powerful description of how the unwelcome PD guest shoots us. When Denise talked about seething about the intrusion, she beautifully described how we Distress ourselves over PD. The unwelcome guest isn't going away and so we have to learn to live with him. Seething is like twisting the arrow and making the hurt worse.
Ed: Thanks for the electric massager tip. I will give it a try. I think we are all really close to being on the same page. You talk about fighting PD. I think we all are "fighting" to keep PD's impact as low as possible. Our essay is simply attempting to separate the components of upset so that we can fight better. One of things we are trying to do is work at separating the physical aspects of PD from the mental/emotional/attitudinal parts that have to do with how we talk to ourselves, in that inner self-talk conversation that we all have. The focus is on helping ourselves and others control what we can control, instead of wasting energy on the rest (Serenity Prayer) and thereby frustrating ourselves.
You could say there is Stress and then there's "stress over the stress" which is Distress. And since the distress is caused by what we say to ourselves about the stress it is potentially within our control to talk differently to ourselves and not distress ourselves. The physical problems are still there and still hurt and/or bother us, but at least we aren't making them worse. It sounds like you're using some good adaptive strategies to deal with physical and emotional stress. Searching the Internet and hearing the experiences of others helps prevent you from distressing and helps you keep your positive attitude.
Thanks everyone for your responses.
Peace,
Judith
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| « Last Edit: Sep 23rd, 2005, 12:45pm by Judith » |
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aussiebron
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Re: Stress vs. Distress Over PD (and Whatever!)
« Reply #11 on: Sep 23rd, 2005, 12:39pm » |
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A Conversation at the Dance of Life
Do I want to have this dance?
Thank you, Mr Parkinson D, my dance card is already marked.
The dance after that?
Why, that is the ostrich dance.
You have never heard of it?
It is easy.
How does it go, you ask?
Take a step to the right, take a deep breath, put your
head in the sand. Take a step to the left, take a deep breath,
put your head in the sand. Do this in time with your favourite music....
Repeat as often as needed.
No, it is true that you do not get very far, but it helps.....
Thank you Mr Parkinson D.
PD for short you say?
I do not want to dance with you.
My card is already full.
You say that there is no way I can say "no" to you?
How is this so?
The last slow waltz is yours?
I thought my husband had that.
He did not sign my card?
and he left early.
I find I must accept reluctantly your offer to dance.
It is not my choice of music.
Like Skylar, I find you repulsive,
but
what else can I do?
Bron
"I was dancing, with my darlin, to the Tennessee Waltz,
When I old friend I happened to see.
I introduced her to my darlin,
and while they were dancin,
My best friend stole my darlin from me."
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| « Last Edit: Sep 23rd, 2005, 7:23pm by aussiebron » |
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denisem
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Re: Stress vs. Distress Over PD (and Whatever!)
« Reply #12 on: Sep 23rd, 2005, 1:26pm » |
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bravo bron!
can you please put that to music so i can turn my volume up and dance along?
denise
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denise
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ed
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Re: Stress vs. Distress Over PD (and Whatever!)
« Reply #13 on: Sep 23rd, 2005, 7:16pm » |
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As the stream flows forward,around aroundrocky debris
It carries in it,s rush a message for you and me.
The fish can read the streams flowing course
they find food and shelter in this moving force
they have adapted to life's unending test of skilll
We all know that it is nothing but sheer will
acceptance is not an issue in staying upstream
for if so we would be gone like a fleeting dream
Like the fish we were born with survival instincts
upon our birth these become our strongest links
We may ponder on our individual situations
for it has been this way since the start of creation
the final analysis of lifes unending challenge
finds us all very willing and capable to manage
our course thru life's rocky flow
for all of us here take heart in this for it is so
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Judith
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Re: Stress vs. Distress Over PD (and Whatever!)
« Reply #14 on: Sep 24th, 2005, 6:30pm » |
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I laid awake this morning with visions of ostriches, fish, and revolted dancers swirling around me. While I appreciate the poetry and feelings expressed, I wrestle with some of the imagery.
It's true we didn't ask or want to dance with Mr. PD, but feelings of revulsion can only tear us up and cause us to stumble. The ostrich dance? Could be better than waving one's arms with worried what-if's, but when you pull your head out of the sand you will still have to deal with those symptoms and the dance will be even more demanding than it would have been if you had figured out how to do the tricky moves PD throws your way.
Then come the fish. It would be neat if, like fish, we didn't have to deal with the range of human emotions. The fish would never manage the rocky flow if they stopped to:
--bitch about the rocks in their way (I never asked for these rocks! Look how hard they are making this journey!)
--get angry that those rocks are there (How unfair! No fish should have to put up with so many rocks!)
--get embarrassed to be seen negotiating bigger obstacles than other fish
--worry about future obstacles
In other words, just as fish don't need to "accept" what comes their way in human terms, so they don't distress themselves over the obstacles like humans do. Humans were born with a survival instinct, but they also have a range of emotions that can get in the way of adapting to the situation. Awareness of how we distress ourselves is a first step in making the journey or the dance smoother and less stressful.
Judith
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